When do kids have a right to tell a parent what they can & cannot do with their life?

I am a single parent of a 22yr old & 14 yr old and they both run my life. I handle my household responsibilities as a parent should, but they dictate who i can have in my home. My daughter lives with me & her son & her boyfriend, my son lives with me but spends the entire weekends with his dad. My daughter tells me off every chance she gets.Tells me what to do. I cant seem to make a move in my own house because any wrong move she gets angry.I support everyone sometimes leaving me without money. My boyfriend is the only thing keeping me going. I work very hard and sometimes when i come home the house is a mess. I cant seem to reason with her. My boyfriend spends the weekends with me and we just stay in my room and relax and that bothers her. My ex is no help. He feels no one should be in my house even though i pay for it. How can i escape ? what can i do ? i kow she needs help?